At Gethsemane

My friend DeAnn knows a little about trauma. And living in the moment. She pays attention, a sensory sponge taking in the wonder of everything God has created, as though he created it specifically for her, every opportunity a brass ring He holds out for her. She honors His gifts and His wisdom for giving her growth opportunities by diving in, taking part, and truly engaging in the world around her. Thinking of her thrust upon the grief cycle because of a horrific accident that took her mother's life, I think of the Savior at Gethsemane, and how it was okay for Him to grieve our sins and afflictions. He stayed present and felt everything, processed all the pain in such a way that blood appeared from his pores. There is a cultural misunderstanding about optimism. "Fake it until you make it," is a toxic social pressure that keeps people in dis-ease. "Being positive" does not mean avoiding being fully present in troubling times. It needs to be okay to grieve loss, all kinds of loss, and to be supported in processing pain. Only then can we begin to comprehend joy. I am sorry, De, and know that you will honor your mother by engaging yourself in remembering her, learning new things about what she has meant to your family, and feeling what you are entitled to feel at her passing. I feel heavy for you each time you enter my thoughts, and I feel joy knowing that you will take full advantagous of this experience to add another incredible dimension to who you are. Time to read Refuge again and dribble some marigold petals into the Great Salt Lake, or another body of water your mother loves.